Understanding different parenting styles

Fair to say that most of the kids these days are not brought up the way we were brought up. Most of us or many of us would have had rigid rules in our house when we grew up. We were given time to get up, time to play, time to eat, time to study and our summer vacations were mapped to activities as well. We always had to be good students and had to always be the best in our studies. There are no two ways in India if you are a middle class family growing up in the 80s. You had to study Engineering or Medicine. Very few were taught to like and explore other subjects like arts, humanities. Not liking a subject like Math or Science for example was never an option. Most had to study Math and Science. If marks were dropping in any subject, it was dealt with strictly. Food choices were limited then and there were only limited options. Children could not demand going out to extravagant places and eating there(there were not too many options too) Getting scolded is a normal thing in such households and no questions were ever asked.

There was an age to study and then there was an age to get married. For girls that age was early 20s and for boys, it was mid or late 20s. Everybody stayed married and there was no thought of any other way. And that is how life went for the children of 80s and 90s. These kids were brought strictly and there was no talking back to parents or defying them in any way. You just did what was told and that was the end of parenting. This was an age when children were brought up under a iron fist! 🙂 This is the first style of parenting.

But today’s generation is brought up differently. The very children of 80s and 90s are parents now and they have relaxed all rules of parenting. It is also going alongside another concept of parenting known as ‘gentle parenting’. In gentle parenting, parents do not show their anger. Instead, they expect the children to learn their mistakes slowly. There are no “dictator parents” here, only, parents who are more like friends to the children 🙂

Apart from gentle parenting, parents nowadays do not tell their children what to study(like only study Math or Science) and do not worry too much about their grades as well. I don’t think the current generation might be able to withstand a parenting punishment as well. Parents get their children what they want and there are minimal rules and regulations. Children do take a variety of subjects to study apart from Math and Science which is definitely a great thing(though, I am not sure about the job opportunities later on)

Once upon a time, there were more of arranged marriages and now there is a mix of both types of marriages in the society. The tolerance for love marriages in the Indian context is better now and it is quite heartening to see that. The only unfortunate thing is that marriages don’t seem to last very long .

This is the second type of parenting wherein children lead the way and most parents oblige to it.

There are no right or wrong ways to parent and it is up to each family to decide how and what works for them.

Have you noticed the different styles of parenting? What do you think? Is ruling with a “iron fist” better or is the “relaxed way of parenting” better? 🙂

This post is for #BlogchatterA2Z 2025!