Why are arranged marriages in/from India successful?

ByJayanthi

Why are arranged marriages in/from India successful?

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Before I start my talking on the above topic, let me refer you to my post on what are “arranged marriages“?  As you can understand, in arranged marriages – the boy and girl have no clue of each other when they get married… to sum it, in an arranged marriage:

a. we don’t know what the would-be likes/dislikes(apart from color etc)

b. perception towards life

c. his/her younger days

d. financial habits

e. how the family/family members are

I don’t know how this type of relationship works or why it works – but it works till this day… 🙂 

When we first got married and moved to the US, “our arranged marriage” was the first thought hitting people all around us….

This was one popular quote: “I heard in India, they get married in a different way called “arranged marriage” – did you get married that way?”!! 🙂 Even though I was pleasantly surprised to hear the query, I was proud that “our” unique way of getting married was world renowned…(and remember the Internet was in its infancy then)

So, why are arranged marriages in/from India so successful? (or atleast more stable than other countries)

It is not that India does not have divorces, but according to a report from India today, the divorce rate in India is less than 1%! (Source: https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/india-has-the-lowest-divorce-rate-in-the-world-1392407-2018-11-20)

For most couples, after the honeymoon phase of 2-3 years in any marriage, the reality of life will start. Maybe the biggest difference is always how we are brought up with our varied backgrounds. These differences will rise and fall but the Indian couple always stays together through it all! 🙂

So, how and why do arranged marriages survive? Here are some of my thoughts(not sure whether they are right or wrong)

  1. We are brought up that way and conditioned that way too. From a very young age, we know that our parents, in-laws, brothers, cousins all have only had an arranged marriage and it seems to work wonderfully for them – so it should work for us too! 🙂 To put it simply, we just accept it for it is…
  2. We just accept the changing personality of each other in a marriage…
  3. When we get married in India – we not only get married to the person, we get married to the “whole” family!! 🙂 Parents, in-laws, brothers, sisters, everybody will be part of the marriage and will definitely prod you along if things  are not working great(it works other way around too, unfortunately)
  4. Women not being totally financially independent might be one of the reasons too(many women continue to work after marriage – but very few can be totally and completely financially independent)
  5. Maybe the men in India are very adjusting to their wife and her family.. 😉
  6. Maybe the women in India are very adjusting to the husband and his family too… 😉

Bottom line, arranged marriages are working and still continue to work in India…if you can think of any other reason on why they work, do let me know!

 

 

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1 Comment so far

MahaPosted on3:33 pm - Mar 2, 2019

Amazing post!!!!!!!!😺

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